The Trini Gang
Third Act – Westward the women
Dude, I don’t know why are you so interested in La Trini, but as long as you keep filling my glass with Cienfuegos and my purse with bullets, I will tell you everything I know. After all, I am not telling you anything that anyone could know around here and would tell you for a couple of shots. In fact, I think I’m scamming you. But be my guest.
The Trini Gang is composed mostly by women, tough women who are better not to be crossed, my friend. Women like Matroska, who they call “Motherrr Land” because she is always despising our way of life in Scrapbridge and comparing it with her shitty town far in the east with her funny accent. She is a dick, I can’t stand her. I would screw her, she is really hot, and I would pound her until my back ached, that’s how hot she is, but I can’t stand her. She is always like “In the Motherrrland they arre kinderr, they always sharre all they have…”. Apparently there are no gangs over there, only one big-as-hell gang with people working together, and they don’t have a chief, they always use, hear this: democrrracy. I have heard that there you can’t even go to the shithouse if the rest of people does not agree. They gather, talk and decide what to do and how to split the income. What kind of nuts would give his bullets away? You can give an extra shell to some slut that has earned it, sure, but without even a good blow? For doing nothing? Are we crazy or what?
“Little Brat” Miley is an asshole, not even her mother can stand her for a full day, and I don’t know why the fuck Trini keeps her with us. She thinks she is so cool, and that she is gonna be a sing star, but she sings less than a moscorpion crushed under your boot. But she is tough, that is for sure. She is a wanna-be-gangsta still with lots to learn, but she is in the right path. She is a fast learner, too; I taught her a couple of tricks with the throwing knives and she nailed them. Maybe one day she will be as good as I am, but to do that she has to remain alive, and I don’t think any of us would spare a bullet to save her ass.
Hildegarde, AKA “Big Momma”, is a mean beast, bigger and stronger than any man that I know. She can cut you in half even with a wooden pole. She is also from outside Scrapbridge, from Festung Germania to be precise. She told me once that she is so big because they strictly select the biggest and healthiest members of the gang to have babies with their females, to make a race of super-soldiers or something like that. Wackos with guns, hear me well. But I think she really believes that, the poor girl is so naive… she is as simple as she is big. She has fostered a lot of mutard orphans at her house, and she spends almost all her bullets feeding them. First I thought that she was going to fatten them and then eat them, but no, she really loves them. A real bad experiment from those lunatics at Festung Germania, the biggest mutard-haters in all the world. One of those things that make you think that anything is possible in the Wasteland.Then there is Hayden “The Dwarf”, and I don’t need to explain why they call her like that. But she is quite attractive nonetheless. I would make a threesome with her and Matroska without a second thought.
But if we speak about turning someone on, Sophya “Turn it On”, how hot she is and how little she gets laid… She goes around like a bitch in heat, but no one dares to pound her due to a little problem with name and surnames: Sioxsie “The Son of a Bitch’s Daughter”, who wants to munch her carpet. And no one in his right mind would stand in the middle. They say that the last one to try ended up sharing a cage with Nibbler, Sioxsie’s trained biter. She is as good a trainer as her father, The Son of a Bitch; he wanted a son, and although he had a girl, at the end he got away with it. In fact, the breeding grounds of the family are called “Son of a Bitch & Son”. Did I tell you that?
Listen up, dude, because we also have an elite sportswoman in the gang, Jannet “Da Nigga”, two-times champion of sand hockey bloody sport. She can deliver some good kicks with her stick, so hard that you will think that a herd of landsharks has stepped all over you. Good warrior, disciplined, always focused and woman of few words. I like going out on patrol with her. She will go far.
Who else have we got? Oh yeah, the green ones, “Storm” Halle and “Don’t Touch Me” Brandy. Halle is Da Nigga’s little sister, a real candy, but she has a jinx on her: every time she is on patrol we get hit by a sandstorm. We usually take her with us to screw other gangs we might get across in our missions; we have our goggles handy and get to cover, and the other crew is totally taken by surprise and we get an advantage. I mean it, man, it’s fucking awesome, that girl is a sure score. Halle goes out, a sandstorm forms up. The poor child has a hard time, but we laugh our asses out. She shouldn’t complain, her nickname is cool, the one I had at her age was a real crap. And “Don’t Touch Me” got that nick not because someone had tried to force her, which they did, but because there is now way in this world to get near her. That bastard does not have a single scar. She is an amazing sniper, one of the best I have ever seen, capable of piercing a martabbit’s eye from 300 yards. And if you manage to get close to her because she has run out of bullets, you’d better have a really long pike, because the bayonet in her long rifle will get through your chest form 5 feet away.
Well, these fine women are the ones who nowadays form The Trini Gang up, but surely some others will ask in a near future for a place in their ranks. Because La Trini, that is well known, takes care of her crew, more than your own boss cares about your people, as you will soon find out. And now refill my glass, you jerk.