As everyone knows, the Wasteland is full of dangerous critters, the type that can tear your balls off if you don’t know what you are doing. Usually folks go fucking around like true jackasses, without any second thought to what kind of beasts they might go across, and then it’s time for regretting and bleeding. That’s why I have decided to consecrate my life to be a boffin about all this, a respected Official Bugger and Mutardologist from the Scrapbridge Methane and Meat Electro-proteic Guild (in which I am founding member, as well as president, secretary, treasurer and field specialist). I am doctor Sarious, and I will try in this Guide to the animals, critters and mutations of the Wasteland to make a cool study about the animals that populate our world.
I have seen plenty of nasty things and witnessed the weirdest shit across the Wasteland. I have lived in my own bollocks the craziest situations almost impossible to believe. I have been face to face with beings, monsters and creatures with more teeth than hairs in a martabbit’s fur, and claws longer than a mongolongo’s dick. But only once was I petrified by utter fear. That day something inside me died, because I ended up face to face with… The Grim!
Must I say that most of the information here included to whom may find something of interest in this chapter of my guide, was gathered thanks to a couple of weird-as-fuck losers I interviewed at the brothel of Aunt Biula. Those buddies talked non-stop about coming from a far away place exploring and hunting (according to them) legendary creatures. They also guided my around Septic Tank, place I only knew for their “famed” leechcrabs (flagship creature of that place). Although Septic Tank is a well known place, lately we have been hearing pretty weird things happening around there. Strange cults, people gone missing, weird mists, honest politicians…
The Grim, as those fellas called it (it seems to be named in different ways depending on the exact zone), is a creature of corruption. A gent or gal of yore, who committed a hideous crime according to fundamental laws. Nobody remembers anymore the crime, or maybe it’s too complex to fit in our small brains, but according to these fine gentlemen I spoked to, can vary from cannibalism to spoiling the end of the last Scrapbridge podcast. But from then on, this “victim” needs to hunt, rape and feed (not necessarily on that order) on any poor soul that crosses his or her path.
Now again, other fella in that bar told me that The Grim is just a crazy mutard with airs and graces.
The thing is that its body and mind have been twisted in the worst way you can imagine. They say it has saggy legs, ending in something similar to feet with the claws of a bird. Its arms are thin but muscular, really long, with a pair of vaguely human hands at the end. From its chest also emerge two more smaller arms, completely functional, teoret… terote… theoro… we think that from the evil being that cursed this soul and grew inside it. From its hunched back emerges the twisted skeleton of the beast, with added spikes and stumps, always surrounded by a cloud of toxic fumes. The face is a fucking joke, with huge bloody eyes and plenty of needle-like teeth inside a thin mouth.
The “human” being left inside it died long ago (their body, at least) and its mind is infected by an evil presence. That means that the creature is really aggresive, but inside its head full of infections and primal desires there still exists traces of something vaguely human (you can call it soul, or intellect if you prefer). That means they can actually reason, even better than some of the wackos living in Scrapbridge.
That creature is a fuckin’ nightmare. Some of you will not believe these words, but this hellish creature really exists (maybe more than one, but I certainly hope not).
That day I got lost in the alleys and back streets of Septic Tank. I had been there before and knew the place quite well, but something inside me told me that was some shit very different to any other regular Wasteland frolic. I lost sight of those two hunters I had been with, but I finally could find one of them… or at least what was left of him.
To this day I can’t figure out how I made it out of the place. I certainly haven’t been the same since then… like something inside me died before that strange mist cleared completely.
The Grim lives always on the move, wandering without a clear destination, all around the Septic Tank area. According to some of the dwellers, this hellish creature does not usually get near the populated areas, but always lingers in the fringe of civilization.
Note: reading again the notes of my companions, this creature has also been spotted in other places hundreds of miles away. Which makes me wonder… how can a beast like this demon travel that distance without being noticed all along?
Stealthy as fuck, its mere presence makes you want to kill yourself. The Grim only lives to feed due to its curse, all of it violence turned into flesh. It can switch from a nasty calmness to a rabid burst of brute force in a blink.
If you can actually see it you are not probably its intended prey, but you will never get it out of your nightmares. It will haunt your memories forever.
If you see it… run for your fucking life.
If you don’t, do yourself a favor and put a fuckin’ bullet in your brain, you will be spared of a life of eternal suffering.